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There are a lot of non-black men in Western and Northern Europe who love black women. BW say the non-bm in Europe are generally more open-minded when it comes to relationships with bw than their brethren over here in the U.S. As I have said, there are non-bm dating and marrying bw in the U.S. too, but there is certainly room for improvement, especially in certain parts of the country. (In part 2 of the “Black Women Dating Men from Europe” series, I will discuss an African-American woman’s 3 options if she wants to date men from Europe.)
A Couple of Success Stories
Below is a link to the blog of an African-American woman who had an international long-distance relationship with a man who lived in France and later moved there to marry him. She and her then-boyfriend used to see each other once a month.
By the way, I’ve heard that organizations in Europe give their employees months of vacation annually, so if you’re dating someone who lives in Europe, he can probably stay for much longer than a weekend when he visits you in the U.S. http://mysocalledlifeinfrance.blogspot.com/
This is a link to the blog of a black Canadian woman who had an international long-distance relationship with a man who lived in Italy and later married him: http://enroute2padova.blogspot.com/.
Summary of Black Women’s Romance-Related Experiences in Europe
Here is a summary of what black women have said about their romance-related experiences when in certain European countries:
(i)Germany, Ireland (Republic of Ireland , not the Ireland that’s part of the UK) - Many, many guys were heavily interested in bw
(ii) Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Finland, Iceland (Scandinavian /Northern European countries) – Many, many guys were heavily interested in bw
(iii) Spain and Italy – Bw were treated like goddesses by many guys (one bw said men were proposing on the first day they met her). However, the non-black men were very racist toward black men, especially the soccer players. Another bw said that bw in Spain don’t date Spanish guys because since there are a ton of African prostitutes in Spain, the Spanish guys equate bw with prostitutes. There are a lot of African prostitutes in Italy too, but there have been reports from bw that there are plenty of men in Italy who do marry bw. (I have heard that Italian society tends to have more of a tolerance for a husband’s adultery than we do in America—you should research to see if this is true before getting involved with a man from Italy.)
(iv) France – Many guys were interested in bw, but the interest was not as extreme as in some of the above countries. (Do you really need guys pursuing you in an extreme manner anyway? I mean, who really needs men proposing to her on the first day of meeting her? It’ll be good for an ego boost, but the ego boost will likely be followed by thoughts that the guy lacks sound judgment.) Let me re-emphasize: Bw said there were still a lot of men chasing them in France, but the guys weren’t behaving like fanatics. There have been reports of tons of bw/wm marriages in Paris. By the way, unlike the above countries, France has its own significant population of black folks.
(v) Britain (UK) – Good opportunities for interracial relationships for bw. One bw said your prospects may not be as much as in France. You’ll have more interracial dating opportunities than the U.S., but you will be treated like a normal, attractive woman, not like a goddess with people proposing on the first day they meet you. The reports I have heard are that bw from the U.S. consider London a breath of fresh air when it comes to IR dating and they like it. Black British people are 12% of the population, so you won’t have the “exotic” edge as you would in a place with much fewer black people (like Germany, for example).
Some of you may not like the idea of being seen as exotic. I don’t think it’s any more shallow than when a man and woman of the same race meet each other and he is physically attracted to her. Oftentimes, it is the physical attraction that spurs him to then want to get to know her better. The problem is not if a non-bm considers you exotic. It is if it stops there and he doesn’t get to know you as an individual. Keep in mind a person can value you as an individual and still appreciate your physical qualities. Even in a same-race relationship, a husband will praise his wife’s physical attributes. If you have a good, well-rounded relationship with your non-bm and he says he likes your skin, for example, don’t start acting all weird about it. Just accept the compliment graciously.
Here is an excerpt from a post on interracial dating in London on a blog authored by an African-American woman who is in graduate school there (americanblackchickinlondon.blogspot.com):
One thing that took me by surprise the first time I came to London (this is my 3rd time living here) was the number of interracial couples. I'm accustomed to seeing some interracial couples in Atlanta. But in my hometown (at least growing up) when I saw interracial couples the composition was normally white guy/Asian girl, black guy/white girl, black guy/Asian girl or black guy/Hispanic girl. See where I'm going with this? Rarely did I see black chicks like myself in interracial relationships. When I moved to NYC, interracial couples were much more prevalent, especially couples that included black chicks. But my first time really seeing black women in interracial relationships was when I came to England for a study abroad program in 2003.
And I must admit, this is yet another aspect of London that I love, probably because I do date interracially. It trips me out when I see an advert with an interracial couple which includes a black female, such as the Banana Republic ad I saw in my copy of The Economist last week, or when I watch EastEnders (a popular, long running Brit soap) and there are black women paired with non-black men. Nothing about the ad, the show or the interracial couples in general scream "Hey, look at us! We're different!" or "Look at our interracial love fighting all the odds against us!" In fact, the shows and ads are presented in a very matter of fact way and no real attention is drawn to the fact that half of the couple happens to be a black chick. I suppose in London, such couples really aren't different. To me at least, it seems to be the norm as opposed to Atlanta where it's the exception.
Non-Black American Woman Agrees that BW Are More Appreciated in Europe
See the following link to read about a non-black, American woman’s surprise that white men were chasing after black women so much when she traveled all over Europe with her friends. Note: this is the same link that I had in my blog post titled “For Black Women Interested in Dating Outside Their Race.”
Racism in Europe
Be extremely cautious with men from Eastern Europe. Eastern European countries spent decades cut off from the rest of the world while they were communist, so the people there are generally not as open to black folks as those from other European countries. I’m not saying there isn’t racism towards black people in Northern and Western Europe because there is, but generally not as much as in Eastern Europe. Below is a link to the blog of a black woman who is living in Norway (Northern Europe). She seems to like it there, in general, but doesn’t sugar-coat the fact that racism exists in Norway. See her post on how a black female minister was treated by the press (Mar 9, 2008 post titled “Africans in Norway from the 17th Century”). As you read through the blog, you may be curious about her love life –she mentions it in one of her Jan 3, 2008 posts called “The Holidays”-after the Ode to Tracey Ross. http://nigerianwomaninnorway.blogspot.com
Read the next post in the series: “Black Women Dating Men from Europe – Part 2.”
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