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For the readers at KinkLovers, BDSM Date is the most popular dating site for those interested in bdsm and fetish. However, there are many other sites in this niche that are also great for making new connections and meeting women and men in the lifestyle.

All of the bdsm dating sites below offer a free basic membership which allows you to sign up and check out the profiles and available features before upgrading. I usually advise people to join a few sites at a time and then only pay for the one or two that have lots of local profiles.

Lola Recommends…


Not only the largest bdsm dating site (by far), but also the most fully featured. BDSM Date offers video chat, instant messaging, and member blogs, and the group chat rooms are totally free for basic members (those who haven’t upgraded yet). The searching function allows you to find people into your specific fetish or interest so hooking up with like-minded members is easy. If you haven’t joined yet be sure to check it out.


Read our full BDSM Singles Review.
This is a lesser known site but has a good number of profiles after being in the game for well over a decade. Some of the advanced features could be improved (such as allowing member to member video chat) but one key benefit here is that you can view profiles and play their tinder-like game of “hot or not” without upgrading. This gives you a chance to see who’s near you and ready to play, but I do recommend the full membership for when you want to contact someone to set up a date.


Read our FindaFemdom Review.
The name says it all! I like this site as well because you can sign up for free and take a look at all of their members. You’ll find thousands of people in the bdsm lifestyle here including local femdoms and dominant women. New members get 30 free “Flirts” (ice breakers), so you can start interacting right away and get a feel for the community before deciding to upgrade.

For more bdsm dating sites related to individual fetishes, see my post: Best Fetish Dating Sites For Every Kink

Others Sites that are popular among Kink Lovers readers:


While it’s not specifically a site for BDSM, Find a Threesome is a huge site with over 70 million members to date. People from all over the world use FindaThreesome.com to meet both couples and singles for kinky group fun. If threesomes are your thing, be sure to check out our post about the Best Threesome Dating Sites.

Honorable Mentions

You may have also come across some other BDSM hookup sites that promise the opportunity to meet doms and subs online. Alt.com is a massive player, but I didn’t mention them above as they share the same database as BDSMDate.com. Other sites that offer free membership are FetLife.com which may be worth checking out but I have heard  mixed reviews on them. The other biggie in the free space was Collarme.com, but they recently shut down after a good run.

Good Luck and Enjoy!